The Way I am...

By the next month, I will has been here United States for one year.
I wanna reminiscence the days I spent in here.


Whenever people asked me why did I come to America, I always said that I came here to study English.
It is true, but that is not the real reason.

Before I came to here, I had finished my duty for the military in my country, South Korea.
I was lucky.  I experienced various things that I had never before, and I though that I had grown up.
But, still I couldn't find an answer for The Way I am...

I wanted to know what kind of a person I am...
That's the real reason why I came to America.
I wanted to know who am I, and what is the life...

Before I came to here, I made a pact with myself that I will live by myself in America.
Ten days after I landed here, I got a part time job to live by myself.
I knew I am not allowed to get a job, but I got a job. (Sorry...)

For the six months that I spent in GTLI, I worked everyday, and I was being different from others.
Even there were many Korean students, I couldn't melt in those groups.
I felt jealous of other students' lives. I never had a free time.
I was hopeless at that time.

And the most problem was that I was alone, and I was lonely...

At those days, I wasn't sure about myself.
"Am I doing right?", "What have I done?'
"Did I accomplished something in here?"
Those questions were always in my head.
And then, I thought that the whole things in here was a mistake.
I just wanted to forger everything and wanted to go back to my country.
I have hit the bottom of the barrel at that time.

At that very moment I realized.
This is not me.  This is not the person who I know.
This is not The Way I am...

Paradoxically, I smiled at that moment.
I was totally forget about the only pros that I have.
(sorry, it's a secret...) The fact that I'm just 22.
The moment that I wanted to go back to my country was the big turning point.



Today, I finished my first semester in Georgia Perimeter College.
When I heading back to my house, I tried to summarize my days in America.
I wasn't really proud of myself for the most of days in here, but at least the last months
I'm satisfying about my self.
I assumed that those days were a mistake, but I thought that maybe there are some mistakes
that are needed for my life.  And yes I have hit the bottom, so now the only thing left is
ascending...

The Way I am... maybe we already know about that... maybe we just forget about it...

Maybe I should not posted this whole thing because there is no creativity in this paragraph...

I miss my creative writing class... I just wanted to inform that I'm still alive...

I hope I can see Ruth, and my classmates...