The Mother Ocean.

What is nature?

If I were asked to this question, I would probable say "Everything".

Since everything in this world, even us are from so called mother nature.

Then, where all these living things come from.

If I remember rightly, the answer is the Ocean.

Yes, I love the Ocean. 

                                                      

 The Mediterian

My hometown is coastal city, and it takes just 5 minutes to get to the beach from my home.

Moreover, I literally lived on the ocean for about 2 years when I served in the Navy.

Since, I could see the ocean almost everyday before I came to here, I have so many good memories.

What was the best?

Being in the middle of the Indian ocean, in the middle of the night.

When my ship was across the Indian ocean, I went to the Heli deck in midnight for no reason.

I couldn't see anything for the first few seconds ,so I was frightened.
(Naval ships turn off every lights on outside deck after sunset.)

Then I saw it.

I saw the tons of lights in the sky, countless stars.

I got overwhelmed by that scene.

I felt complete soloness, even though there were more than 250 crews in the ship.

That was just...

I lie on the Heli deck, and I couldn't stop laughing. I just couldn't.

I can't stop smiling as I wrote this post.

My digital camera couldn't afford to take the image,

but somewhere in my brain will not delete this image for the rest of my life,

and I still dreams of the Ocean.

 The wild Indian ocean

The Way I am...

By the next month, I will has been here United States for one year.
I wanna reminiscence the days I spent in here.


Whenever people asked me why did I come to America, I always said that I came here to study English.
It is true, but that is not the real reason.

Before I came to here, I had finished my duty for the military in my country, South Korea.
I was lucky.  I experienced various things that I had never before, and I though that I had grown up.
But, still I couldn't find an answer for The Way I am...

I wanted to know what kind of a person I am...
That's the real reason why I came to America.
I wanted to know who am I, and what is the life...

Before I came to here, I made a pact with myself that I will live by myself in America.
Ten days after I landed here, I got a part time job to live by myself.
I knew I am not allowed to get a job, but I got a job. (Sorry...)

For the six months that I spent in GTLI, I worked everyday, and I was being different from others.
Even there were many Korean students, I couldn't melt in those groups.
I felt jealous of other students' lives. I never had a free time.
I was hopeless at that time.

And the most problem was that I was alone, and I was lonely...

At those days, I wasn't sure about myself.
"Am I doing right?", "What have I done?'
"Did I accomplished something in here?"
Those questions were always in my head.
And then, I thought that the whole things in here was a mistake.
I just wanted to forger everything and wanted to go back to my country.
I have hit the bottom of the barrel at that time.

At that very moment I realized.
This is not me.  This is not the person who I know.
This is not The Way I am...

Paradoxically, I smiled at that moment.
I was totally forget about the only pros that I have.
(sorry, it's a secret...) The fact that I'm just 22.
The moment that I wanted to go back to my country was the big turning point.



Today, I finished my first semester in Georgia Perimeter College.
When I heading back to my house, I tried to summarize my days in America.
I wasn't really proud of myself for the most of days in here, but at least the last months
I'm satisfying about my self.
I assumed that those days were a mistake, but I thought that maybe there are some mistakes
that are needed for my life.  And yes I have hit the bottom, so now the only thing left is
ascending...

The Way I am... maybe we already know about that... maybe we just forget about it...

Maybe I should not posted this whole thing because there is no creativity in this paragraph...

I miss my creative writing class... I just wanted to inform that I'm still alive...

I hope I can see Ruth, and my classmates...

Colours... Life is...

Orange

 Everything has the Beginning and the Ending

Red

Life is Repetition of that

Yellow

Sometimes, we see the ending that we didn't Want 

Blue

 But, through the ending that we can't Avoid

Black

We are becoming an Adult...

Maybe, Life is just a dream, you know that never Ending...

I'm Ascending...

Scenes from the Sunday.

 Organization in the Chaos

Fiat lux

Let there be Light

 The old Tire

  A raison d'être

 Life goes on

Junior

An Amusement Park

So needy......

Where the hell am I?

Busan

Synchronized   Dynamic

Growing   Promising   and Missing

The place that makes me calm, but the place that I always wanted to leave.

The Journey Home

NYC

Fancy   Crowded

Blazing   never Sleeping   but in someway Disgusting

The place that coexisting the Everything and the Nothing.

Paradoxxx

Who the hell am I?

Kid

Settled  Regular

Squandering  Revolving  Chasing

I was nothing but a child who has all grown up.

DayDreamer

Destruction

Vulnerable  Emotional

Floating  Wandering  but Mending

I

'm looking for an answer to who I am?

Rebirth

My Father, and My Mother Taught Me...

My father taught me No Thing

He just taught me to Follow my Guts

My mother taught me to Believe Her

She just taught me to Follow Her

As I grew up, she let me Follow my Guts


Now, whenever I am lost in the Journey of my Life

I Follow my Guts

Litany - Recording

The "V" day

Happy Valentine day!!

For your information, Korea also celebrate Valentine day, but it has little different meaning.

In U.S. people give some present or chocolate to each other.  However, in my country the Valentine day is the day for men.  Only girls give chocolate or present to boys.  Sadly this kind of thing didn’t happen in my life.  Even for a little piece of chocolate………………….. So, when people says happy Valentine day, I think like this “So what?”

Is it sounds unfair?  But we have a day for girls.  March, 14^th which called as White day, is the day for girls.  On white day boys give candies to girls, of course if a man got chocolates on Valentine day he have to give more candies to girl who gave him chocolates.  It’s unfair cause the Valentine day always comes first. 

Anyway happy Valentine day!!

Litany - The endless journey...

You are the Holy Grail that cannot be found

You are the El Dorado that disppeared

You are the Atlantis that sunk in the ocean

However, you are not the raindrop

that kisses to it'sdeath

And you are absoulutely not the heart of a witch


It might be interest you to know,

I am on the trip to oblivion to find you


And I know that you do not show

Your sweetheart without any

Introspection


You are still the Holy Grail that cannot be found

And I am the lost child on the way to oblivion

Nevertheless, I am sure that you wll reveal yourself in

True color

Sorrow...(Three line poem)

Sorrow stares at people in the middle of Downtown

Wearing blue tear drops

She tears her clothes and becomes one of the crowd

Sense of place......

                As I saw the symbol of my flipped mandala, it reminded me one place.  A great rest place I used to go.  I felt like I’m looking the ceiling of an octagonal pavilion.  I could imagine the image of myself.  Lying down on the octagonal pavilion and looking the ceiling of it.  The wind is blowing.  It’s cool, and it smells salty.  I look around, and there is ocean in front of me, and the sun interrupting my eye sight.  I just lying down again, and watching the ceiling.  The symbol of the ceiling makes me calm down.  I can forget everything that bothers me, and it feels like I’m in the middle of the nature. 

                This octagonal pavilion is in the end of pathway of Amnam Park, which is near from my home.  This place represents the end of the pathway of park, but I thought this place means turning point.  Because, I have to go back the same way that I have just came. 

                Also, I can’t forget the ocean view.  This place is on the edge of the mountain which is facing to ocean.  I can see the clear view of the ocean.  It makes me refreshing, and I really miss it. 

My name...

      My name Jinyoung means famous and wealth.  Well, first of all I like my name.  The meaning of my name represets my parent's expectation.  However, now I can ask my parents that who can be famous and be rich without any effort or talent?  They gave me a name that has no time to take a break. Crap!  Nevertheless, I still like my name since it sounds generic or neutral.  My name can be used by both genders.  Actually, I have searched for people who have the same name and age as me.  The result was there were about 15 people who using same name with me, and actually there are a few more women who use my name.  This kind of name is not really usual in my country.  FYI, Since I prefer everything to be neutral or fair, I like my name.

       Despite having this beautiful name, I have many friends who never call ma by name.  I have several nicknames, but the popular one is Jungil.  This nickname came from Jungil Kim, king of North Korea.  My friends said that my appearance looks like him.  How absurd that is!!